Dreams of a Future

Deep in the heart of the Corn Belt sat a northern Indiana home with four rooms and a path leading to the privy. Behind it ran a creek lined with great cottonwood trees that defecated cotton-like seeds all over the ground in the fall. The house sat next to a rutted dirt road, its foundation only feet from the roads fractured surface. Lilac bushes separated the elongated yard from the home next door that housed a small family whose father was always yelling. Shouts and slamming doors were often heard through the tiny homes windows; always open in the summer to move the stagnate air.

The four rooms consisted of a living room, kitchen and two bedrooms, forming a perfect square. Across the front of the house was a covered porch made of round stones from a local creek. It provided a respite from the scorching sun that always accompanied the long, humid summers in that area of the country. The largest set of railroad tracks in northern Indiana ran by the house only a half block away. Day and night the engineers blew their whistles warning of impending danger as they left the train yard a few miles away.

In the living room sat two young newlyweds. The house was the fulfillment of a dream for them, a dream envisioned years before.  They purchased the house in May and occupied it in September after their wedding. The year was 1951. The depression and war were over and prosperity was growing in America.

The groom was an electrician. Having recently completed school for the trade, he looked forward to many years of opportunity to share his skills. The bride was a housewife who in later years would complete her RN studies and tend to many hurting and sick people. They looked forward to raising a family together in the little house, making it a home suited to their specific needs and purposes. They had a special drive to accomplish this that rose out of their past.

The bride’s father had divorced his wife (her mother), leaving her in Arizona with two small children. This was long before divorce was a socially acceptable living situation and well before stringent laws had been developed to protect the oppressed. The hardships that ensued were at times unbearable but her mother, Thelma, managed to keep her remaining family together.

The groom had gone through a very difficult childhood, being raised in a depressed area of town and having to deal with a very challenging father. Harsh would be an adequate term to describe him. The groom was the first of the “latch-key” children, having to find hours of activity after school while his mom and dad worked. From these backgrounds, they both purposed to raise and love a family…the right way; with tenderness and care.
And so started the marriage of Jerry and Roberta Dare; my parents…little money, fractured families, yet big dreams and a singular focus to better themselves…new beginnings – a fresh start. Mom was 18, dad was 19.

It wasn’t long until their first child, my brother, was born. Andy was a romping baby boy who was dearly loved. You and I can both imagine the cuddles on a chair, the baths in the sink, the rattles that were shaken to entice a smile, and the prayers over his crib. For months they nurtured and loved him, yet one day he was found dead, a result of sudden infant death syndrome. That I can’t imagine, yet it was a chapter in the book of their life together that was lived; one of pain, hardship and tears.

When you are in the midst of the circumstance…the hardship and pain…it seems that dawn will never come and that the pain will never ease, yet God was faithful even then in providing the comfort and encouragement they needed and desired. Andy was buried next to a plot my parents had purchased for themselves. You see, even though he is gone, after all these years he is not forgotten. They know that one day they will see him again.

Even with that challenging start to their marriage, mom and dad stood firm on the promises of the cross. Four other children were born to them, Chris, Cindy, Shannon, and Tim. We were each given the same loving and gentle care that they both gave little Andy. Perfectly? No, but made perfect in Christ.

They added to their home one room at a time to meet the needs of their growing family. It was added on to so many times that it grew to be quite a place. A bathroom was added. They enclosed half of the porch with large windows that were festively decorated with painted scenes every holiday. Then a carport, bedroom and garage, and a backroom were added….and it was home…home for 53 years.

A few years ago we spent two weeks in Indiana where mom and dad lived in an apartment, having sold their family home. It was the first time since 1987 that all my brothers and sisters were together with their families for Christmas. What a crowd! After hours and hours of talking, I realized that we were each filled with hopes and dreams for our lives.

Each of us, to the best of our abilities, pursues those dreams seeing only some of them come to fulfillment. I can confidently say that if those dreams and efforts are rooted in Christ, with our families as our primary ministry, though difficult at times, our lives will be a living testament to God’s grace. If, however, they are rooted in selfishness, they have no meaning. When you look at your friends, your spouse or your children, remember that they have dreams for their lives. I can think of no better act of love than to invest in those dreams.
Shannon

Psalm 127
  1 Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. 
2 In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat for he grants sleep to[a] those he loves. 3 Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him. 
4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. 
5 Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. 
They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.